The inevitable anniversary of my sweet baby boy, Thatcher Caleb’s death is 6 days away.
Naturally, this impending date has driven me to the blog so I can reread our posts, close my eyes and imagine what life would be like today if he were still around. While perusing the blog I realized I never shared about our 8 days at home, or his birth story! I can’t stop replaying these moments in my mind, and I want them written down so as time passes I can recall the details that have become fuzzy in my memory. The problem is every time I sit down in front of the computer screen my heart starts racing, my stomach begins to churn, and my mind goes blank. You see, reliving these moments is wonderful and agonizing at the same time. I get to dwell on thoughts of my sweet baby boy, but satan very easily turns my thoughts into guilt, bitterness, and depression. On top of that, I find blogging to be VERY intimidating; I’m not a professional writer (quite obvious by my misuse of syntax and grammar, but I do promise to NEVER misuse your vs you’re, come on people!), nor I don’t understand HTML or any type of coding for that matter so writing each entry and posting them takes A VERY LONG TIME!! That being said, I absolutely regret not posting more this past year, so I am back. Since I can’t bring myself to post about our 8 days at home just yet, because I know what I will have to write about at the end of that post, I have made myself a compromise.
I AM going to do a first post back, but it’ll just be pictures of our 8 days at home (if I can remember how to post pictures on blogspot) and one about essential oils. That may seem like a random combination/compromise but for me essential oils are connected to my Thatcher Caleb. If it weren’t for Thatcher (his time in the hospital and his death), I don’t think I would have been open to trying essential oils when God brought them into my life (probably why I hadn’t heard about them earlier, lol). Sooo, now that I am posting an explanation of my first post back, my first official “We’re still here” post will happen right….