Tuesday, February 21, 2012

From the top...

Just in case you can't tell... from left to right we have:
Eric, Whitney, Thatcher Caleb
Thatcher has been a precious miracle baby from the very start.  We set out on the long road to starting a family in March of 2010, just nine months after we got married.  Eric and I have always loved children and have dreamt about the prospects of starting our own family long before we were even married (dating for 7 years, 4 of those long distance, allows for plenty of time for dreaming).  I have PCOS, polysystic ovarian syndrome, so we were aware our road to a family might be longer than others.  After 8 months of me not ovulating we decided we’d see what options my doctor could suggest.  We tried the more natural route of metformin to which my body did not respond to so we began clomid.  In April of 2011, we experienced the joy of what it feels like to see 2 lines on a pregnancy test! God had answered our prayers; we were going to have a baby!!! You see, at the time I felt entitled to a good pregnancy.  We walked with my sister during a miscarriage a year before, so logically I thought “OK God, we’ve gone through a trial with pregnancy in our family, so I know you will make sure my pregnancy will be smooth sailing”.  I prayed all the time about our baby and was so thankful that God had decided to bless us in such a way.  But because I felt that little bit of entitlement, looking back I now know I was focused and living for my circumstance and not simply seeking the face of God.  The next couple of weeks were ridden with fear and anxiety because pregnancy levels were not rising like they were supposed to.  We lost our precious angel baby in early May of 2011 when he was only 5 ½ wks old in my womb.  Yes, our world was turned upside down and I have never felt more alone or desperate in my life.  Just two weeks after my miscarriage I felt this nudge to get back into the word, but I was scared.  I had never been in a trial that made me question God’s spoken word and I knew of some verses that I couldn’t reconcile with, Romans 8:28 in particular.  I was already in such a vulnerable position, if I began questioning God’s word who knows what road that would have led me down. Luckily, God doesn’t give up on His children and the Holy Spirit would not leave me alone.  Once I had gotten back into The Word I realized I had stepped outside of God’s protection.  Somewhere along the line I began relying on myself and my abilities instead of God, Jehovah Jireh, my provider!  Although I would have preferred the lesson to come in a different form, God used our miscarriage to draw me back to Him.  For the first time in my life I was experiencing the peace written about in Philippians, the Peace of God that surpasses all understanding.  It was this peace that God showered down on me the entire summer of 2011.  I was able to be thankful for the day that I was in and not think about the next day.  I was able to worship freely regardless of my circumstances that day.  It was during this time that we found out that God has blessed us with another pregnancy; we were pregnant with our sweet baby Thatcher!!  I knew there was nothing I could do to change what the outcome would be with this pregnancy, God already had Thatcher’s story written down.  I used each day of the early part of his pregnancy to be thankful for that day, one more day with our precious baby, and nothing more.  Don’t let me fool you, Satan has attacked and distracted us almost on a daily basis, but by the grace of God we have continued to run after God and seek His presence.  Throughout this pregnancy we have had three continual prayers for our son.  The first prayer goes along with his name.  We chose the name Thatcher Caleb for a reason. Thatcher, well, we just liked it and thought it was unique.  We chose Caleb from the Caleb that is written about in Numbers.  We have prayed our Caleb will be like his namesake and will courageously stand firm on the promises of God regardless of what the opposition looks like.  We have prayed that this is God’s child, not ours, may He use Thatcher to bring glory to His name and use us to be godly stewards in his life as we raise him in accordance to God’s holy word.   The third prayer came mostly from Eric. He wants to be able to share stories with Thatcher about a God who is very much alive and moving in our communities today.  He has prayed that God would somehow allow him to gather stories from people about how God has moved in their lives in a big way.   I think that about catches us up (in a very reader’s digest sort of way) to this past week. 

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